i blog about...
the "ugly". the awkward. the curvy .the skinny. the fashion. the music.
the life.
the silly. the random. what is pleasing to the eye . what is un-pleasing to the eye. the underdogs.the misfits. the hipsters.and anything that I find a work of beauty. and the many attempts i find of individuals striving to be
unconventional
.the over all purpose is to help you see the beauty in all walks of expression.
Created with cracks, dents, rough edges, and plenty of chips. I still stand a miraculous statue.
Dear Onika,
I won’t say NIkki MInaj because i’m talking to the woman that gave birth to her. I see your face, no make up… still trying to find your way… and I am reminded so much by myself. The light is shining, but your not quite sure of how to adjust to it yet….
Fast foward… the first time I saw Nikki… I ended up in the deepest depression… saying to myself, “I wish I was that pretty, with smooth skin, straight hair and big hips” I felt bad that I was one of the broke bitches you were talking about. Even though in my daily life… I try to focus on the blessings I have… and the promise God has given me that better days are coming… I see you and I hear your lyrics about nappy headed hoes and I feel like even if I try my hardest, I will never be enough. I will never be that big booty red bone… with keen features… that all the guys want
There is a song I heard of yours.. maybe it was on beam me up scotty.. but you talked about your struggle to be on the come up.. and you encouraged girls like me to not give up… but sometimes its hard to listen to you… because when you talk about the cars, the clothes I don’t have… and how I need a permanator… I sigh… and think… am I on the wrong end of the fence?
Is my worth determined by how much money I have? What I look like? The size of my breasts, ass, stomach? The will for my hair to be straight?
I try so hard to not get offended by your lyrics… I try to step out of it and think “This is not reality, just entertainment” but why does it bother me so much?
Im not saying its your fault that I take things the way that I do. But im hungry. Im hungry for women, women that sometimes are not dolled up… that embrace women that don’t look like them… that can help me feel okay.. with just being simple, poor me. Im hungry for someone, some one on tv to speak life into me… to speak words of water to my thirsty soul. Im dry… life has sucked my hope for being okay.
There are so many girls, and women out there that are scarring up their bodies… minds, and future for the sake of trying to be the baddest bitch? Exactly what does it mean to be the baddest bitch? Does she have certain measurements?
We are going through so much as women… we have been molested, raped, bullied, tortured, and taken advantage of in so many ways… that we have this very cloudy view of the true essence of who we are. Reality shows and videos are schooling us on what it means to be somebody in this world…
Onika… if you knew how old I was, you may say I shouldn’t need your help… but I need your help. I need mentors… as many as I can get… near and far… to guide me… to keep me focused on what is important… before my time is up…
Being quiet, being shy, and being ok with it…. while still striving to live…
I envy flowers….
They are incoherent to our language, and the cutting remarks included
I’m speaking out of ignorance
But flowers…
They are able to cathect… the beauty God given
Without hesitation
I’ve never heard a rose say, “My petals are too big”
“Stems too short”
“I hate my thorns”
I’ve never heard a flower say
“I’m embarrassed by the bees, how they suck at my pollen”
“I wish I never died”
“I’m embarrassed to fall, and become barren with the blankets of the winter”
I never heard a butter cup say, “I wish I was a tulip”
They grow where they choose
No social status to stand
No need of approval to exist and receive love rays
Rays of life
Never feeling the need to hide
I never heard a magnolia, laugh at a lily
For being a lily
Lily, is just always a lily
She never thinks to ask why
I envy flowers…
© Kathy Renee Washington 2012
i get it. u dont like my color. i compare it to some people not liking pink compared to white. preferring apples to oranges.i down grade your comment to being just that simple. many people would say those objects dont compare. the issues and the history dosent compare. your preferences dont define me. ur rejection of my beauty dosent decrease my ability to be accepted.
everyone dosent need to like u. discrimination keeps the assholes away. if you are narrow minded and narrow viewed to where u refuse to accept but only one kind of beauty… even if i was light skinned i wouldnt want you. there are plenty of people that love dark skin. so lets stop being bummed when one prospect says to u, “im just not into dark skinned girls” its not the end of the world. does that one discrection influence any part of your future?
will these rejections from prospects, society, and yes even family stump your room to grow? what value do those words, “dark skin looks dirty, i dont want a dark skinned wife/husband because i dont want dark skinned children. you look cute for a dark girl. ” compared to the vision that God had when he plotted out the colors that painted the beautiful canvas, which is you. none.
