I won’t say NIkki MInaj because i’m talking to the woman that gave birth to her. I see your face, no make up… still trying to find your way… and I am reminded so much by myself. The light is shining, but your not quite sure of how to adjust to it yet….
Fast foward… the first time I saw Nikki… I ended up in the deepest depression… saying to myself, “I wish I was that pretty, with smooth skin, straight hair and big hips” I felt bad that I was one of the broke bitches you were talking about. Even though in my daily life… I try to focus on the blessings I have… and the promise God has given me that better days are coming… I see you and I hear your lyrics about nappy headed hoes and I feel like even if I try my hardest, I will never be enough. I will never be that big booty red bone… with keen features… that all the guys want
There is a song I heard of yours.. maybe it was on beam me up scotty.. but you talked about your struggle to be on the come up.. and you encouraged girls like me to not give up… but sometimes its hard to listen to you… because when you talk about the cars, the clothes I don’t have… and how I need a permanator… I sigh… and think… am I on the wrong end of the fence?
Is my worth determined by how much money I have? What I look like? The size of my breasts, ass, stomach? The will for my hair to be straight?
I try so hard to not get offended by your lyrics… I try to step out of it and think “This is not reality, just entertainment” but why does it bother me so much?
Im not saying its your fault that I take things the way that I do. But im hungry. Im hungry for women, women that sometimes are not dolled up… that embrace women that don’t look like them… that can help me feel okay.. with just being simple, poor me. Im hungry for someone, some one on tv to speak life into me… to speak words of water to my thirsty soul. Im dry… life has sucked my hope for being okay.
There are so many girls, and women out there that are scarring up their bodies… minds, and future for the sake of trying to be the baddest bitch? Exactly what does it mean to be the baddest bitch? Does she have certain measurements?
We are going through so much as women… we have been molested, raped, bullied, tortured, and taken advantage of in so many ways… that we have this very cloudy view of the true essence of who we are. Reality shows and videos are schooling us on what it means to be somebody in this world…
Onika… if you knew how old I was, you may say I shouldn’t need your help… but I need your help. I need mentors… as many as I can get… near and far… to guide me… to keep me focused on what is important… before my time is up…